Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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