can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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