$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
