Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
