Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Let's get the cat blown out
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
