He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
