your parents love me but you hate me
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We need to rekindle our bromance
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
