She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
