marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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