So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
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