Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Bring me that man meat
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
