It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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