so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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