He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
