just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Green mimosas i think yes
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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