Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
