im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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