The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
