it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
