i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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