Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
