You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
