You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
