you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
