just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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