thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
