He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
