she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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