using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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