It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
