ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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