I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
