hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I am available for nakedness
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
