I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
