If i come over, it means nothing
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
