David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
