I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
