no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
