his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
