i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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