So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
