All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
