Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
