this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she smelled like a LAN party
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
