420 ftw
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
