dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
