I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
