I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
