its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
