you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
