Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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