I hate all girls vehemently.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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